It Doesn’t Ring a Bell Pepper
Psalm 17 has a phrase which says “guard me as the apple of your eye.”
Recently since I have been paying more attention to fruits and vegetables, and less to my former favorite candy bars, this phrase caught my attention. Apparently in ancient biblical times, apples were special. This brought my thoughts to an interesting childhood memory of visiting my cousin who is a year older than I am and at the time lived with her parents in Yuma Arizona. For an elementary school
age child, to go unescorted on a Greyhound bus to Yuma was quite an adventure.
I recall sitting in the kitchen as my aunt was preparing dinner and my cousin was asking her mom for an apple and her mother was suggesting a carrot. I was perplexed at this negotiation. My mom would have been thrilled with my request for an apple and never downgraded the food choice from a fruit to a vegetable.
What happened next was even stranger. My aunt said we were having “Sweet Breads” for dinner. Obviously sweet breads to me meant some form of pastry. I did not know what they were but OK by me to have pastries for dinner. Adding to my confusion was my uncle asking if I had ever read a book called The Anatomy of a Cow. I countered this question by asking if he had read it. He then claimed that he wrote it! My uncle was a jokester. Dinner was not the Danishes I was expecting but light colored slimy pieces of what I thought was meat…but this was a Friday in the 1950’s and we were all Catholics. We did not eat meat on Friday.
Well, in case you did not know it, “Sweet breads” are actually cow-brains. Arizona Catholics did not have to abstain from meat on Fridays because of the challenge of keeping fish (the most likely alternative) fresh in the Arizona heat.
This adventure of misnamed foods started me thinking of why some vegetables and fruits, to this day, do not get the recognition and appreciation they deserve.
Artichoke
Not a good idea to put the word “choke” in a name of a food
Pineapple
Not from a pine nor an apple tree but it is a good thing because once I almost got clobbered by a pine cone which fell out of a tree right in front of me. If it had been a pineapple, I might not be here to talk about it.
Mushroom
Sled dogs are supposedly motivated by the word “mush” and mush is a good breakfast cereal. Rooms are good too especially when real estate agents are marketing houses for sale. Certainly, mushroom was a much better name than toad stool that is until an atomic bomb was tested. Mushroom shaped clouds…not so good.
Water chestnuts
I really like water chestnuts when I go through a salad bar but I think they need a better name.
Jicama
When I hear this word I feel I am loquacious in Spanish. I have no idea where the word comes from. But speaking of the Spanish language, I have learned to make a distinction between caliente food which means the temperature is hot and piquante food which means the spice is hot…which incidentally bell peppers are not.
Honeydew
I think somebody combined two good melons to create the honey dew melon. This was great until husbands started complaining about their wives giving them a list of chores to do and calling it a “honey dew” list.
Eggplant
Eggs are great, eggplants do not grow eggs. This is a misnomer.
Capers
The food capers are good but the expression of pulling capers is an expression which does not seem to have any connection to the food.
Horse radish
I am conflicted on this one. I love horses but hate radishes. What should I do? How should I feel?
Huckleberry
I love the word Huckleberry but I doubt if I could identify the berry if I encountered one. Mark Twin made Huckleberry Fin a great legend and in the song Moon River there is the expression Huckleberry friend. Sounds nice to me, my huckleberry friend.
Jojoba
A while back, people were going to make their fortunes growing this bean which produces very special oil. I don’t know if anybody got rich but my cousin Susie said it was tedious work.
Leek
This is just a downright bad name for a vegetable. It is only something an underworked plumber might go for.
Parsnip
This sounds downright unpleasant.
Peanuts
These are neither peas nor nuts. They are legumes. I like them anyway but if you give me a can of mixed nits, I will pick out all the cashews first.
Sassafras
This has kind of an ethnic sound. Sassafras tea sounds special.
Strawberries
I sure don’t know how the word straw got connected to these special fruit.
Turnip
I do not know why proclaiming you didn’t just fall off the turnip truck demonstrates any level of wisdom or maturity.
Yam
People seem to believe it is important to assert that yams are sweeter than sweet potatoes. Maybe that underscores the importance of naming fruits and vegetables properly..
Who wants to eat a “Crab Apple?” On the other hand, in the grocery store recently I spotted a type of apple called “Honey Crisp.” I think a smart agronomist consulted a public relations firm for a good name for this apple.
If you want to prosper selling fruits and vegetables I suggest you give careful attention to the names you give them.