Make a Basket List, Not a Bucket List
A bucket list has a negative connotation. “Kicking the bucket” is a not too inspiring reference to death. A “bucket list” is a list of things a person hopes to have the opportunity to do before dying. Nobody knows when they are going to die. On the other hand, we are all going to die sooner or later.
On January first of this year I did something which might be on your bucket list. I don’t really have a bucket list but I had never seen the world famous Rose Parade in person and this New Year’s I took the steps to attend.
I arranged to travel by bus. I waited in a long line in the cold dark early morning of New Year’s Day outside the train station on Kettner Blvd. I thought I would warm up once I finally got aboard the bus but I was mistaken. The bus’s heater did not work. Later, I learned the bathroom also did not work. Worse still was the fact that the driver did not appear to know where he was supposed to go once we arrived in Pasadena. I was cold and hungry when I finally got off the bus. That is when I discovered that the two twenty dollar bills I had neatly folded and place in my pocket were no longer there. I had no money for the tempting hot dogs and grilled vegetables sizzling on little barbeques that lined the sidewalk as I sought a spot to view the parade.
I situated my folding chair the best I could in what could only be described as an obstructed view. As I sat shivering, I worried that I was never going to be warm again.
Eventually, the parade began and the floats that had always appeared so amazing on television were just not that impressive in person. They were not as big as I expected and the marching bands went by awfully fast. I had always believed that I missed some of the parade when it was televised because of the commercials. Soon the parade was over. I was glad to get home and I never plan to go to another Rose Parade.
I relate this story to you as an example of the actual experience not measuring up to expectations. I am pretty sure that everyone has had similar experiences. You thought something was going to be great and the reality fell far short of your expectations.
I would like to propose to you that in your life there have been any number of surprisingly wonderful experiences…things which turned out much better than you could have hoped. These are memories which put a smile on your face when you reflect on them.
I propose that you put these wonderful memories in a basket. Well, OK, you can’t really put the memories in a basket but you can certainly create a basket list instead of drafting a bucket list.
Last summer I had a real basket list experience. I accompanied a cousin to a family reunion in Ireland. My grandmother was born in 1873 in Abbyfeal, a small farming community. I had the opportunity to gather with over 400 relatives, most of whom I had never met before. There was a special event on Saturday night at a large social hall. There was a small band and soon there was a line dance forming. I got up and, even though I had never learned this particular dance before, I joined in. It was an amazing experience.
Another experience I had took place at the very beginning of a picture-taking safari in Kenya. The tour group had boarded a special little hotel called “The Ark” and I went to the observation deck. In the flood-light, trotted a mother rhinoceros with her baby. I started crying and could not stop. I went to a hotel staff member and asked for tissues. She gave me a whole box and commented “this happens all the time.” I cannot explain how that mother and baby touched my heart.
Another remarkable experience I enjoyed was swimming with dolphins off of Black’s Beach. wanted to swim with dolphins and went with a friend to Black’s Beach and waited for some dolphins to swim by. I swam out and joined them. It was a thrill! I want to warn you though, they have very fishy breath!
A good friend of mine knew that I had an interest in hot air balloons. As a surprise, she arranged for me and my gentleman friend to join her and her fiancé on a hot air balloon ride. That was a phenomenal experience. Superlatives fail me. This is an adventure I would definitely recommend.
The summer after I graduated from UCLA I motorcycled through Europe with my best friend. All eleven weeks were very special but I look back, with particular fondness, on a picnic in a meadow in the Swiss Alps.
I will share one more memory with you and then invite you to reflect back on your own lives. You, too, probably have a treasure trove of special memories. I was on a cruise to Mexico. Of all the different events, I found myself coming forward for skeet shooting. I nailed a clay pigeon! Well, I felt like Annie Oakley reincarnated!
I suggest to each of you today that you create a basket in your mind. Start to collect your favorite memories. Bathe in the warmth these memories give your heart. You can carry this imaginary basket with you at all times. When you are bored or stressed or worried pull a few memories from your basket and enjoy them again.
None of us know when we will die but with a basket list, we can enjoy special experiences of our lives more thoroughly until our last moment. Make a basket list, not a bucket list.